Brain Freeze: Kim Kardashian’s Musical Debut
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Brain Freeze: Kim Kardashian’s Musical Debut

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March 8, 2011, 1:57 am
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Pop Culture so bad, your IQ hurts.
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By Keisha Allisse

So the queen of all media drops the mother load with her first single, ‘Jam’. Earlier this year, Kim K released pictures of herself from the music video, looking all ghetto fab’d up: aviators on and hair in beaded corn rows. One could only hope that she sounded as cool as she looked. During the world premiere on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show, however, it took seconds to realize that the song wouldn’t live up to my worst expectations.

She sounds bored and monotonous on the autotuned-within-an-inch-of-its-life track. Produced by the Dream, a man who fails to live up to his moniker this time around, but otherwise has an impressive track record which includes hits for Beyonce (‘Single Ladies…’) and Rihanna (‘Umbrella’). If he had sped up the beats a little and encouraged Kardashian to use some (any) inflection in her voice, the song wouldn’t feel an hour long, though it clocks in at just four minutes, seventeen seconds (still long for radio play). Considering this song is for charity, you would think they would have tried harder. Looks doubtful that Kim will best former friend and reality star, Paris Hilton’s debut single, ‘Stars Are Blind’ which peaked on the Hot 100 at #18.

 Contrast this steaming pile with Willow Smith, Jada and Will’s daughter, who has put out two solid singles, the most recent being ‘21st Century Girl’ preceded by her Top 20 hit, ‘Whip My Hair.’ Listening to her sing, it’s hard to believe the young vocalist has yet to hit her teens. If she’s this good at ten, what’s twenty going to sound like? Perhaps the Divine Miss Kim could learn a thing or four from a girl a third her age with twice the bravado.

 

Decide for yourself.

 

Kim Kardashian’s ‘Jam’ 

 

 

Willow Smith’s ‘21st Century Girl’

 

Author: Keisha Allisse
Keisha is a freelance writer currently living in New York City. She formerly worked in the nonprofit sector for a walking/biking advocacy group and then later for a small theater company. She worked in the finance department of a NYC-midtown based theater organization before leaving to pursue writing full-time.
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