Obama For President! - You Heard it Here First
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Obama For President! - You Heard it Here First

January 2, 2011, 6:34 pm
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Psycho GOP
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by Bernard Jenkins

     Rather than trying to run Obama out of town, the psycho GOP should seriously consider running him for president on the Republican ticket in 2012.

     After fatally shanking the Democratic Party, which for nearly 20 years had been suffering from Nicole Simpson Syndrome, finally putting it out of its misery by betraying virtually all of its traditional principles  and his election base, Obama has revealed his true self:  a Republican.

     After selling out a key Democratic principle and continuing  the Bush tax cuts for millionaires,  billionaires and gazillionaires during the lame-brain session following the historic "shellacking" of his party at the mid-term elections, Obama suddenly seemed absolutely giddy, as if liberated.  He no longer had to pretend he was a Democrat.

     The Democrats should be giddy too.  They no longer have to pretend he's a Democrat either. 

     For two years they drank the Obama kool-aid, supporting the shoveling of trillions of dollars of tax payers' moolah to Al-Qaeda of Wall Street, the too-big-to-fail bankers, who were drunk on their own greed and oblivious to their spectacular record of worlwide financial failure, fraud and criminality. 

     They loyally tried to defend the indefensible Obama  healthcare "reform" bill that left the vile and heartless private insurance companies not only smack in the middle of  everything, sucking up a 30% skim on every health transaction, but under the new law getting 30 million new sheep herded into their pens for shearing. 

     They shielded their eyes and pretended not to see that the entire Obama defense and  national security operation was still run by the Bush-Cheney gang of war mongers and profiteers, kidnappers, torturers and US Constitution shredders.

     They await, with bated breath, Obama's ultimate party treason of setting up Social Security and Medicare for a fall in the next Congress.

     In the course of two years of Obama's continual trickerations and three-card monte-isms, his base, the millions of Americans who hopefully (or foolishly) voted for him, has gradually turned away, disheartened, discouraged, disappointed, no longer believing in "the change we can believe in".

     But wait, you might say, why in the world would the GOP, the party of liars, ignoramuses and racists ever choose a black man as their presidential candidate?

     Despite the GOP's  recent overwhelming mid-term win, the majority of Americans with a pulse really cannot  stand them.  They resemble paranoid psychotics or aliens from outer  space.  Their speech is so nonsensical it makes your head hurt trying to comprehend the incomprehensible.  The present GOP establishment are the old Newt nuts come into middle age, an assortment of drunks, hypocrites, bag men, comb-overs, shine-on artists, blowhards and closeted homosexuals.  At the moment, flushed with election success, they think they are sitting in the catbird seat.  But they may have created a monster even worse than they are, which could bring their undoing.

     The Tea Party was never intended to be anything more than a renta-mob made up of low-information rubes, tools, dupes and racists, that is to say, the useful idiots of the bedrock Republican base.  They were gathered together before the tv cameras by the money bags and message manipulators of the GOP.  Their role was to scream hysterically about the evil government ("keep your hands off my medicare!!") and shout wild-eyed accusations at Obama ("fascist, commie, marxist, nazi, socialist") that were considered acceptable substitute public utterances to the N-word.

     But a funny thing happened on the way to Armageddon.  The Tea Party tail began to wag the GOP establishment dog.  The Newt nuts were under pressure from the new nuts.  With the public face of the Tea Party being two remarkably attractive big league political women (!), Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman (not to mention the perky pretty little leaguer Christine O'Donnell and perhaps the new governor of South Carolina, Nikki Haley), the GOP establishment boozehounds, weepers, turtle-faced geezers and fatsos look rather less than inspiring.  The rabble seems to have been too much aroused.  The rabid fans allowed into the stadium to yowl abuse on Obama have come down out of the stands and are demanding to play on the field, if not take over the team altogether.  The new Congress has Tea Partiers in it, itching to make noise, and putting the GOP on the horns of a dilemma.

     If the old GOP goons smack the new nuts down and shut them up, the party will lose a good portion of their zombie base.  If, on the other hand, the party bosses bow down to them, the GOP can kiss off the mythical middle of the American electorate they have always managed to fool into voting for them.

     The answer to their problem is obvious:  Barack Hussein Obama, the slick talker, to the rescue.  Pick the man without a party but with an excessive Rodney ("Can't we all get along?) King gene.  If the racist buffoons in the ranks kick up a fuss about putting a black man at the top of the ticket, instead of some cement head like Mutt Romney , tell them it's really Al Jolson.   After all, anyone who believes that Obama is a marxist, socialist, commie, nazi, muslim, will believe anything.

Author: Bernard Jenkins
Bernard Jenkins a regular Contributor at Jornal.us, is a writer and raconteur commenting on U.S. and world affairs for eons.
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